destiny is dead

I wasn’t originally planning on writing about this topic, but with this news happening so suddenly, I think this might be the best outlet for me to dump my feelings about this topic. I’m not even ashamed to use the word grief, because that’s quite literally the process I went through. I guess this is my idea of an open love letter to a franchise I’ve invested a lot of time into. I can’t help but feeling that this is more of an obituary, however. 

Destiny has always been special to me. This was the game that was the catalyst for me getting into online gaming in the first place. Before I got my first PlayStation at 14, my only real gaming experiences had been with Nintendo consoles. I started with a Game Boy, graduated to the DS, and had a Wii as well for home console usage. I had never played any sort of FPS titles at that point, even after getting the PS3 I was mostly playing the Batman Arkham series in those early days. FPS was a genre I had never had any experience with, until I got introduced to Destiny. 

I can vividly remember the conversation I had with an old friend of mine in the summer of 2014. We both shared a love of gaming, and he had asked me if I was going to be playing the Destiny beta that was coming out in a couple of weeks. I had said no because I wasn’t familiar with it, and he told me all about how it was being made by the old Halo guys, and how it was going to be this huge expansive MMO/RPG with tons of planets to explore and classes to experiment with. This left me intrigued, I had played Halo at friends houses before and had fun with it, and I was obviously familiar with its place in the overall hierarchy of gaming at the time, so I went home and did some research. Little did I know that was the start of the obsession. 

The time for the beta eventually came, and in order for me to participate, I had to make a PSN account. So yes, reader, the only reason I started playing online games was because of a Destiny beta. Shoutout to my dad who had to use his email at the time to make my account, and was probably swamped with Sony emails until I eventually made my own account. 

It was love at first sight. I was on the game non-stop that entire week. It was a truly alien experience for me. I had never experienced anything like it before. Even back then, I was hooked on the gameplay loop and the loot grind, scouring every corner of the Cosmodrome looking for any missed pieces of lore or hidden chests I may have missed. Looking back I was more susceptible because I had never played a looter shooter before, and any Destiny vets will tell you that even though this game has had many ups and downs, and gone through many rough patches, the gameplay loop has always been addicting even from the start. That beta test week went by so fast, I was left with a hole in my heart. I was itching to get back in, watching every single Destiny video I could on YouTube leading up to launch day, and trying to convince as many of my friends as possible to buy it, so I’d have people to play with. I was there day one at Target (back when Canada used to have it), and walked away with a fresh copy of my newest obsession. 

Those first few months didn’t go the way I had expected. Here’s me who was putting in WORK every day, grinding patrols and bounties to slightly increase my light level and doing daily strikes and missions like my 9 to 5, but I was shocked that people in the gaming community felt like Destiny was just kinda mid. This might have been one of the first times in my life where I felt like maybe I was in the wrong for liking something that not everyone else did. It made me feel protective of the game in a way, people didn’t understand what made this great, and obviously since I liked it, they’re the ones who we’re wrong. Despite these feelings, I did accept that there we’re in fact issues with the game, but I could accept that due to the fact that I loved everything else about it. That first year went by and so many memories were made that I still look back on fondly to this day: beating Atheon and the Vault of Glass for the first time, doing Crota’s End and finally getting to jump in the Hellmouth on the Moon, and spending that entire summer grinding Prison of Elders. 

I think this game just hit me at the perfect time. I was fresh into high school, and went from a really small private elementary school, to a pretty big high school where none of my friends from the previous school had joined. I was thrust into this new world I had to navigate myself, and things we’re changing around me so fast in so many different ways that quickly became somewhat overwhelming. Destiny was always something that was there when I needed it, and while it would change with each subsequent expansion, at its core it was always the same game I had originally fallen in love with. 

Time passed, the sequel was announced right before I was set to go to college. I remember getting my copy shipped to me from my parents and loading up on day one with my two roommates who were also into the game at the time, but something was different. It was the same game, but things just felt, odd. Things we’re updated yes, but the lack of dev support in the Red War era and the very lack lustre first two DLCs made my question my relationship with the game for the first time. I wasn’t getting as much out of the grind anymore, sometimes playing felt more like an obligation than enjoyment, and I was starting to get into other games at the time which began to pull my attention. The game that was dominating my time for so many years was starting to collect dust on the shelf. I was starting to forget what was so special about it. Sure I would come back for some of the major expansions, but it was never enough to play as consistently as the old days. 

Destiny was typically a solo experience for me for the longest time. Sure I had lots of friends who enjoyed the game for a bit, and occasionally hop on for a strike or raid, but no one was committed like I was. That was always something I wished was different, but I had trouble convincing people to buy in, and meeting new people who we’re fans was also difficult for me. I think the lack of a community aspect in these years was the first domino to fall in my relationship with the game changing. 

I think this is something a lot of video game fans go thorough as they get older. Tastes change, people evolve, you get a job- a life even. I didn’t have that much time to dedicate to losing myself in the grind anymore. Even though I grew apart from the game slowly, I still cared deep down. I would check in every once in a while when I was craving a hit of the gun play, but I still found it hard to really string together consistent sessions. I did fall into a group that was playing consistently in the summer of 2018, I think that was the Season of Avarice? I can’t remember the exact name, but that was the only time in my entire Destiny career that I had all of my characters on max light level. 

I would continue the trend of drop-in and drop-out sessions for the next few years. The majority of the new expansions would still make me come crawling back, even though I knew deep down that the experience was becoming a bit shallow. Things just didn’t hit the same as the did in D1, it didn’t even seem like Bungie even had a real sense of what they wanted to do with this product and its ravenous fan base. For me, it almost evolved into this toxic ex relationship where I told myself multiple times that this was the end, only to come back a couple months later. I would eventually return for more consistent play when The Final Shape was released. A few good friends of mine in collage we’re committed to getting back into it, and for the first time in a long time, I met like-minded fans who had been day one enjoyers. It was almost like coming back home for me, I had finally found the fireteam group I had wished for so long ago. 

Maybe this is why the news of the end is impacting me more than I thought it would. A game that I’ve been playing for over 10 years, my guardian travelling from the PS3, to the PS4, to the Xbox, and then eventually PC, millions of guns looted, thousands of hours, and a lifetime of memories just ended like that. I know the servers will still be up, and they’re going to try and maintain it as best as possible, but as someone who also really enjoys another “dead game” in Star Wars Battlefront 2, I know that this will be a very slow death for a game that I truly care about. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that, I mean goddamn I’ve written so much already clearly I have a lot to say about this. 

I don’t think there ever will be another Destiny. Looter shooters will continue to release, and sci-fi FPS games are a dime a dozen, but nothing will ever feel like those first years of Destiny. There was a mystery to everything, it truly felt like a unique world to get lost in that was so different from anything else at the time. Destiny would continue this trend of insane art direction and world building, that was still able to keep me guessing and surprised so many years later. I never played World of Warcraft or any of those other huge MMOs, but I think I truly understand why people have so many emotions attached to games like this. It’s tough to explain to those who haven’t been there, but the Destiny veterans understand what it’s like.

I’ve been sitting here writing this wondering how I’m going to finish this. There’s so much more I could add in here that I could truly write forever, but I don’t think anyone wants that. As I have a chance to look back and reflect on what this franchise has meant to be, I can only give it so much credit for opening my eyes to so many great things about this hobby I love so much. Not only did Destiny introduce me to online gaming, but the FPS genre, sci-fi as a whole was expanded, and planted the seed to eventually play the Halo games which are now some of my favourites of all time. I can’t thank Bungie enough for dedicating so much to this project, and continually investing in the community aspect of Destiny, I know that there are so many more out there that are gutted like I am now. What gives me hope for the future is that maybe we get a new instalment in the future, or Bungie returns to its roots in the FPS genre. Now is the time to look ahead, and remember the great times I and so many have had with this game. Needless to say, this last ride with the boys starting June 9 is going to be one to remember. 

Thank you Destiny, and thank you for reading all of this. 

Eyes Up Guardian.